I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I see more hoeing in ur future
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