Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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