Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize