I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize