My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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