Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
