I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
