if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I lost the right to judge tonight
Randomize
