he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
