Do you still have your period?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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