I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
