I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
