Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(408): View more from California

there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing

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(808): View more from Hawaii

You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.

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(571): View more from Virginia

I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name

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(615): View more from Tennessee

How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?

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(609): View more from New Jersey

girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.

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(510): View more from California

according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"

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(248): View more from Michigan

Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?

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(516): View more from New York

I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"

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(585): View more from New York

Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret

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