Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
