Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
