her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
