I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Randomize
