i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
