i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
now i know why i became what i already was.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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