Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
