I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
