What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize