You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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