scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
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