i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
