we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
