just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize