You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
