Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Randomize
