Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
