Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize