It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize