Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
