uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
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