my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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