Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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