Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
