I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
