When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
