I want to have your abortion
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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