so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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