If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
ttyl tear gas
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
