Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
You are the jesus of drinking
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
