Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
