somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
