Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
