I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
