They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
