im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
