glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
