I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
