I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
