What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize