So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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