My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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