Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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