this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
