I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
