I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Everyone says I win the strip club
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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