Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
